Freedom with a Pounding Heart – The World as a Mirror

Once again, I was walking my usual route through the small Portuguese village where I’ve been living for over a year now. I moved here driven by a long-cherished dream—a desire for renewal, both within and around me. To reinvent myself—not to leave something behind, but to make space for integration and creativity. A new opportunity—together, and alone. Not I’m leaving, but I’m creating space. Consciously and intuitively sensing what feels right.
 My way of letting go: acting instead of talking.
On such a journey, you encounter all sorts of things—most of all, yourself. I knew that. The treasure lies at your feet; all you have to do is reach out. But actually following that insight… that’s a different story. Knowing is not the same as acting in the here and now. “Diagnosis is overrated,” Wibe Veenbaas once said.
Together with Yasna, I founded Compass-ion—a community where we translate systemic wisdom into daily practice. Not from a place of knowing, but from the courage to not-yet-know. Even when it’s uncomfortable.
 Life is a constant mirror.
And so, I walk my round. I feel restlessness, doubt—the discomfort of choices and situations. I take myself seriously by not taking myself too seriously. Embracing the place of struggle.
 Semi-meditatively, I follow my breath, press my feet into the earth, feel my body climb past the vineyards, with views over the hills of Central Portugal.
 I greet every thought and give it a place. I’ve been doing it this way for years. It’s how I learned. It’s become my second skin.
And then it happens.
Up ahead, a large black German shepherd slips through a gate that’s normally always closed. “Beware of the dog,” it says.
 I feel a jolt of fear. Tension.
 I tell myself: I have nothing against dogs, but…
 I consider turning back, but decide to lean into my fear.
 Just keep walking. Calma, calma.
 My meditation becomes mechanical. My heart pounds. The dog has disappeared—ran uphill. He didn’t notice me, I reassure myself.
At the top, the road splits. Further uphill? Or back to the village?
 I choose a different way back.
 It’s my round—I won’t let fear dictate it.
 Going back the same way might seem safer, but I chose otherwise.
Then I see him again—fifty meters ahead, running straight toward me.
Now what?
 Keep walking. Calmly.
 My meditative state is gone.
 Scenarios flash through my mind. Don’t make eye contact. Stay in your body. No sudden movements.
 The dog approaches fast.
 I focus on a point in the distance.
 Inside, everything’s racing.
 Outside, I stay calm.
At the critical moment, the shepherd rushes past me.
 He keeps running.
 As if I wasn’t even there.
I stop.
 My heart is pounding.
 I feel awkward. Uncomfortable. Exposed.
 And you’re supposed to guide people? I think.
I give the thought a place—this time deeper, fully embodied.
And then I see it.
I’m standing right in front of the street sign:
Rua da Liberdade – Street of Freedom...